Pertemuan II

“Perbedaan Komunikasi Gender”

- A gender difference is a distinction of biological and / or physiological characteristics typically associated with either males or females of a species in general.

- Gender and sex are not synonyms.

- "Women" and "men" refer to sex.

- "Feminine" and "masculine" refer to gender.

- Women, men, male, and female are words that specify sexual identities, which biology determines."

- The gender distinctions of masculine and feminine are based on socially constructed meanings for sex.

- From conception to death, but particularly before adulthood, females are less vulnerable than males to developmental difficulties and chronic illnesses.

- This could be due to females having two x chromosomes instead of just one or in the reduced exposure to testosterone.

- Communication
• Masculine and feminine cultures and individuals generally differ in how they communicate with others.
• For example, feminine people tend to self-disclose more often than masculine people, and in more intimate details.
• Feminine people tend to communicate more affection, and with greater intimacy and confidence than masculine people.
• Generally speaking, feminine people communicate more and prioritize communication more than masculine.
• Traditionally, masculine people and feminine people communicate with people of their own gender in different ways.
• Masculine people form friendships with other masculine people based on common interests, while feminine people build friendships with other feminine people based on mutual support.
• Both genders initiate opposite-gender friendships based on the same factors. These factors include proximity, acceptance, effort, communication, common interests, affection and novelty.
• Context is very important when determining how we communicate with others. It is important to understand what script it is appropriate to use in each respective relationship.
• Feminine people do not mind communicating weakness and vulnerability. In fact, they seek out friendships more in these times.
• For this reason, feminine people often feel closer to their friends than masculine people do.
• Feminine people tend to value their friends for listening and communicating non-critically, communicating support, communicating feelings of enhances self-esteem, communicating validation, offering comfort and contributing to personal growth.
• Feminine people tend to communicate with each other face-to-face (i.e. meeting together to talk over lunch).
• Communicating with a friend of the opposite gender is often difficult because of the fundamentally different scripts that masculine people and feminine people use in their friendships.
• Another challenge in these relationships is that masculine people associate physical contact with communicating sexual desire more than feminine people.
• Masculine people also desire sex in their opposite-gender relationships more than feminine people.
• This presents serious challenges in cross-gender friendship communication.
• In order to overcome these challenges, the two parties must communicate openly about the boundaries of the relationship.

- Communication and gender cultures
• A communication culture is a group of people with an existing set of norms regarding how they communicate with each other.
• These cultures can be categorized as masculine or feminine. Other communication cultures include African Americans, older people, Indian Native Americans, gay men, lesbians, and people with disabilities.
• Gender cultures are primarily created and sustained by interaction with others. Through communication we learn about what qualities and activities our culture prescribes to our sex.
• While it is commonly believed that our sex is the root source of differences and how we relate and communicate to others, it is actually gender that plays a larger role.
• Whole cultures can be broken down into masculine and feminine, each differing in how they get along with others through different styles of communication.
• Julia T. Wood's studies explain that "communication produces and reproduces cultural definitions of masculinity and femininity."
• Masculine and feminine cultures differ dramatically in when, how and why they use communication. In order to communicate effectively across cultures and genders, we must bridge these communication gaps.

- Communication styles
Deborah Tannen’s studies found these gender differences in communication styles:
• Masculine people tend to talk more than feminine people in public situations, but feminine people tend to talk more than masculine people at home.
• Feminine people are more inclined to face each other and make eye contact when talking, while masculine people are more likely to look away from each other.
• Masculine people tend to jump from topic to topic, but feminine people tend to talk at length about one topic.
• When listening, women make more noises such as “mm-hmm” and “uh-huh”, while masculine people are more likely to listen silently.
• Feminine people are inclined to express agreement and support, while masculine people are more inclined to debate.

- Finally, Wood describes how different genders can communicate to one another and provides six suggestions to do so.

- Individuals should suspend judgment. When a person finds his or herself confused in a cross-gender conversation, he or she should resist the tendency to judge and instead explore what is happening and how that person and their partner might better understand each other.

- Recognize the validity of different communication styles. Feminine tendency to emphasize relationships, feelings and responsiveness does not reflect inability to adhere to masculine rules for competing any more than masculine stress on instrumental outcomes is a failure to follow feminine rules for sensitivity to others. Wood says that it is inappropriate to apply a single criterion - either masculine or feminine - to both genders' communication. Instead, people must realize that different goals, priorities and standards pertain to each.

- Provide translation cues. Following the previous suggestions helps individuals realize that masculine and feminine people tend to learn different rules for interaction and that it makes sense to think about helping the other gender translate your communication. This is especially important because there is no reason why one gender should automatically understand the rules that are not part of his or her gender culture.

- Seek translation cues. Interactions can also be improved by seeking translation cues from others. Taking constructive approaches to interactions can help improve the opposite gender culture's reaction.

- Enlarge your own communication style. By studying other culture's communication we learn not only about other cultures, but also about ourselves. Being open to learning and growing can enlarge one's own communication skills by incorporating aspects of communication emphasized in other cultures. According to Wood, individuals socialized into masculinity could learn a great deal from feminine culture about how to support friends. Likewise, feminine cultures could expand the ways they experience intimacy by appreciating "closeness in doing" that is a masculine specialty.

- Wood reiterates again, as her sixth suggestion, that individuals should suspend judgment. This concept is incredibly important effective cross-gender communication. because judgment is such a part of Western culture that it is difficult not to evaluate and critique others and defend our own positions. While gender cultures are busy judging other gender cultures and defending themselves, they are making no headway in communicating effectively. So, suspending judgment is the first and last principle for.